D for?

The lady Deepika Padukone is trending after her famous interview with Barkha Dutt where she announced her victory over depression. I did an internet search and discovered so many successful people who have battled and won over depression ( I already knew about J. K.  Rowling & Lincoln). Also, I read up some very easily doable stuff which can help win over depression; they should help - but even if they do not; they are harmless.

1. enjoy the sun
2. eat banana ( yes :D )
3. exercise
4. meditate
5. consciously fight back the doom
6. sleep and eat healthy - may not be easy, but remember; you are your own master
7. sleep on clean, tidy bed ( stop being that lazy bum :D )
8. go to a doctor; you went for a doc when you had fever, this is no different
9. you do not like what he says, take a second opinion. Remember; you are your own master!
10. rise & shine :)  Get up from your bed, go for a walk in the park.

p.s. Some of these are equally good as weight loss tips too :)

36% people in India have depression and that's only a reported number. The fear is that the actual number is far higher. You may not have depression; your friend might have it. Help your friend - you do not laugh or ignore when your friend complains of a broken arm or a high temperature. Do not make light if your friend complains of depression - help him rise and shine!

ode to sputnik sweetheart

murakami words
they slip off
from the pages,
whisper by whisper

i tell them to be quiet
i am awake now
let them speak in my dream

reality is best encountered
when asleep

that day, my god was a cookie

Technology baffles me. And makes me laugh. And wonder.

This happened some time back. I was checking out this beautiful wall clock on that online shopping site. It was not one of those pricey items. But I was not sure if it was the right wall clock for me. I needed more time to decide. And there was no hurry.

As often happens ( plus, I am a forgetful girl), the clock was soon out of my mind. I was happily reading the online version of Times of India the next day, when suddenly I saw the same wall clock smiling at me from the corner of my online paper. I did not pay much heed; I had almost decided not to buy it.

Next day, I log on to facebook. This is something I do almost first thing in the morning. I am a facebook addict. I was checking out my friends status and photos and going through the usual rush of emotions that facebook  inspires in its users - how thin she looks in red, omg!, why does he have to be so whiny?, and awww, how cute is Mishu. You get the drift. I was busy merrily poking my flat nose in other's business. And then it happened again. Yes, the same wall clock was smiling at me again. Yes, it was right there on my, MY facebook wall; grinning at me like a little devil. I could almost see it waving at me with its invisible arms. Like it was saying, "Hey, take me home, I am yours." My friends say I am a bit obstinate sometime. I refused to give in to the alluring smile of the clock. With a firm click of the mouse, I logged out of facebook.

But other people and stuff can be as obstinate, as determined. I realized that when I was checking out this popular blog by a gossip queen. We girls need to know sometime what Shakti Kapoor had for breakfast yesterday, you see. Yes, you have guessed it right. The same wall clock was right there at the corner - waving at me again, with a grin as evil as possible.

Not that I am much of a god fearing or god abiding girl, but I have grown up on bollywood movies and I remember Shahrukh Khan telling me once that God has this habit of throwing hint at people at the right time ( Yes, Dil To Pagal Hai). And then I get it. God wants me to wake up to the chime of this wall clock every day. He wants me to time the boiling of my vegetables to the turn of this clock's hand. He wants me to start bellowing at my maid if this clock says its more than half past eight. 

But I do not like being told what to do. So, I do not buy this clock. And that day, I remember walking on my office floor with a strut; I have defied God after all. And still alive.

While strutting about, I start a chat with Madhu - the digital genius on the floor. We girls need to share all stories of victories ( and loss) with each other. And I tell her my episode of heroic victory against the Almighty.

I do not exactly remember her reaction, and it has nothing to do with my memory. I think she laughed. I hope she laughed politely and did not collapse down with rude laughter that does not do well to the other person's ego. But I remember what she told me. She told me about cookies. No, not the cookies her aunt used to bake. This is a new kind of cookie - a digital cookie. And online stores use them to track what we are checking out at their sites. Yes, and later they track us down and try luring us back! So much for my victory against the almighty. I was just pitched against a cookie and I had barely managed to not give in to it!

I told you. Technology baffles me. And makes me laugh. And wonder.

The staircase and the sea

We all have our favourite places to sit. A place where we want to run to when in the need of finding ourselves. May be actually its not our favourite sitting place; its a place we are most comfortable with when at the business of facing ourselves; our sorrows, our disappointments, our dilemmas. We face them there, sitting tucked up in ourselves and we return back victorious to face the world again. Like, these places are a source of energy; they feed us with hope and determination again. I know, many of you are already thinking of that staircase in the office! 

And the dreamy ones! You are already thinking of the sea. I am excited about moving to Mumbai for many things. That it happens to be a city with the sea is one of them. Life is busy, there will be work and tight schedules, plus the chores at home. May be I will be left with no time to go and sit by the sea. My friend Siddhangana tells me how rarely she went to Marine Drive when she was in Mumbai. Or was it Shivani who told me so? My memory fails  me as usual, but I remember the warning my friend gave me. But despite the warning, and the reality of a busy life - its a pleasure just to know that the sea is out there, waiting with open arms. That the day I need it, I only need to run to it. It's there.

So what does the sea do to me? Or a staircase to you? Why do you need to sit in that old chair in the balcony when lost in thoughts? Why she needs to hug that particular cushion when in tears? Why he makes his way to that recliner when upset?

I do not know. I think its like having a favourite aunt or uncle. Some people, and places too, just sing back to us. And as long as there are some songs around at the time of need, we will keep going back there. So hail the staircase, hail the sea!

being

it is like this.

i love you 

not just because 

it is easy to love you

or because

when i think of us

i am happy.

i love you

because 

loving you is being me
so i love you
so i be me

rendezvous in my hippocampus

those days
when the night never ends

those days, i think of you.

there are so many things you need to hear,
like...
how one evening i went out to the park to meet you
 - you were far away, in another city
but i still went to the park to meet you
and came back with so many of beautiful memories
that evening never ended

memories are but finite, imagination infinite

and now
in that space called the hippocampus of the brain
(where memories are formed, and stored)
we still meet and talk

sky

what
if i tell you
i am not a girl, but a bird
yellow beak
blue wings
and a heart as light as the wind

what if i fly away
what if i do not come back

and yet
when i fly away
call out my name
because
i am a bird 
with
blue wings
and i will always come back

what if i tell you
you are not a man, but a gush of wind
light wind
wind, blue as the sky
wind, deep as the sea
and my heart is made of you


i will always come back for you
because in you, my sky resides